The not-very-secret life of ALAN CREAK.

Go back to me;

The most important fact about me in real life is that I am a Christian. ( Well, I believe I'm a Christian. Some of my views are probably heretical, but I don't see that as my problem. ) Ask if you're interested.

I'm 68 years old ( provided that the date hasn't passed 2005 August ), and for rather more than the last 43 years have been gloriously entangled with my incomprehensibly wonderful wife, Jean. Reason tells me that she is not perfect, but I have yet to find a flaw. Some might argue against that conviction on the grounds that she is short and tubby, and is not going to win any beauty contests. I ignore such pathetically stupid arguments. So much for reason and beauty contests.

Apart from that, I seem to spend such time as isn't work on sleeping, eating, travelling between Devonport ( where I live in a large old - by New Zealand standards - house ) and Auckland ( where the university lives in a collection of buildings better left undescribed ), and two groups of activities :

• Things I do very rarely but would like to do much more : singing, walking in remote places, reading works of literature ( which includes detective stories ).

• Things I do rather often, but would prefer to do much less : gardening, repairing bits of house, washing up.

I enjoy listening to music, but always seem to have to do so while doing something else. Music is a delightful combination of sounds, but very few people know about it, because hardly any has been written since 1800, when they lost the knack. ( I suspect that's when composers started to think of themselves as artists rather than craftsmen. ) I would much rather produce music than listen to it, but my efforts at controlling musical instruments have not met with marked success. I can sing, and like to do so, but don't get much practice. My most audible singing at the moment is at the morning service at St Augustine's church ( Calliope Road, Devonport ), where I sing Mattins on the first Sunday of every month, except January. You are welcome to come and take part; the service starts at 8 a.m. ( I'm a lowish baritone, which counts as bass in a church choir; all offers considered, particularly if in a Christian context and very particularly indeed if real music is intended. This is unfortunately complicated by a reluctance to waste petrol by travelling in motor vehicles if at all avoidable, but give it a go anyway. ) ( Note : "lowish" in the previous parenthetical remark is derived from "low" as in pitch, not cows. ) I have occasionally been known to produce music, not all of which has been totally dreadful.

I have strong to inflammatory, though not necessarily well informed, opinions about many topics. A selection follows, with items arranged in no significant order. It's a sample from a large population, but I can never think of an interesting opinion when I want to.

• To cause a machine to do something for you which you could do for yourself diminishes you. Leave your car at home.

• Equality is a myth. Show me two equal people. The assumption of equality is a cowardly alternative to accepting the responsibility of treating people as individually important. But that takes time.

• The effectiveness of political advertising demonstrates the failure of universal suffrage. People who have carefully considered the issues will not be swayed by an advertisement.

( If you thought those were good, you should see my obsessions. )
( If you thought those were bad, you should see my obsessions. )

Alan Creak
2004 September.